Lily in Philly!

Day Lily 2013

This is the Lily that I photograph every year (thanks dear sister!) It traveled this year and seems to have adjusted quite well!

Clothes shoppng - Spring 2013

So with lots of encouragement and a more than a little professional assistance, I am brave enough to venture out on my own, to shop for clothes.

It is spring and even I --the novice-- knows and can appreciate the value of a crisp, white blouse. I'm told they are an essential part of any well appointed wardrobe, that they can dress up any pair of slacks and of course, allow you to be ready and dressed with little angst or forethought. Essential.

I'm told that the side tie is flattering, as well as, the blouses with the fit and flare seams--two in the back and/or two in the front.

But every one I own, as well as every one I try on, makes me look flawed --to my own self. Flawed --you know-- rounder than our mind's eye can accept, believe, or translate to reality. I mean, usually when I stand in the mirror, I am able to explain the flaws to say to myself, "not bad, considering".

So I'm just saying, that if I  try on a blouse where even I can't explain the body flaws, then clearly, there something wrong with the blouse!

A path in the grass...

In Highland County there is a 30 minute labyrinth. It is in the side yard of a local church and depending on which day the grass is cut you might even miss it. But it's there. It has an entrance and everything.
My friend created it and when I was there with her last year to visit (and recuperate) was excited (excited for her that is) to tell me about it. Keeping in mind that I'm a city girl, I was gracious and crossed wet grass to see it. I mean she was so "excited" after all and some big wig from a Labyrinth society had noticed and walked it --so who was I not to pay attention. --the things you do for friends --but I digress.

She told me all about the labyrinth, the visit from the man from the international labyrinth society and how children from the community walk and love it. So I started to walk around and around. I mean it was just a path in the grass, right? In her way, she tells me different by saying "...well you know it takes thirty minutes".  "Thirty minutes? Well never mind, maybe later" and I jumped across the pathways --was it irreverent to start and not finish--and got out there.

But the faint circles in the grass--the labyrinth--called my name. What's thirty minutes? What's wrong with you? So sometime later I went out at least three different times. The first I started and felt way too stupid to continue...I mean what is walking around and around in a circle going to do? and who has time for this?  I will never be classified as your quiet, settled, laid back friend. I need to do something--and I like to be doing something---all the time. So what was walking the labyrinth doing?

But it was so important --or at least felt that way to me--to my friend and there was a whole society for the things after all---that I went back out to it two more times. I took my Bible--remember I have to be doing something and read it while I walked. I got finished the passage before the walking and stepped across the pathways and went back in the house.

The next time --- I did complete it! awkwardness and all! Though I can not report that I had any deep or profound epiphany, I did however, get ideas and make decisions about how to make the best use of my time of recuperation. I did decide to stop the mental battle against not being productive, not being able to "do anything"... and maybe that was deep and profound enough for my first time and considering I had weeks of recuperation ahead of me.

 And while I must admit that walking a labyrinth is not something I will travel far and wide to do...nor is it something that will have me join a club or society of labyrinth walkers...I can see the appeal...the necessity actually, of a set aside space to walk and think...a set aside, measured space...where entire societies are dedicated to educating the public, preserving the tradition, the sacredness, the togetherness (the first Saturday in May is World Labyrinth Day --"Walk as One at 1"--seriously who knew!?) of what to some only seems to be "a path in grass".

world wide labyrinth locator

Wiser on Wednesday - ...when I grow up...

Almost certain of what I will do when I grow up.

And just as steadfastly determined never to "grow up" completely--where's the fun in that?

So the question becomes, "what must I do now, today that manifests love and gives life?" The answer involves what it really means to be grown. Right?

To be free and filled with joy in a way that no bars, nor sadness, not even a justifiable despair, can steal this light. I am happy to be me and I am happy to be changing into something extraordinary: me tomorrow.

Not so much grown, but growing...a giant eventually: as love as love can be, over flowing with wonder, whimsy and the wisdom that can only come from courage and failure and exhaustion and well earned rest, disappointment and the fulfillment of making and being a difference

Toby D.Sanders - January 10. 2013