Wednesday, December 31, 2008
The feeling that the days and weeks are whizzing by is so distinct that I set to wondering and asking people if they are feeling the same way. Some offer that "we're getting old" (please! you may be, but I'm not!). Others offer that we are more conscious of our time because there's so much to do now ( "now" as in "we're older" - what's with all this conversation about age anyway?)
I've decided that it's the boys fault. Yes! it's Repeat and Shortie's fault. Repeat is 2 years and 9months and Shortie is 15 months old. Shortie started walking in November so its his fault for sure. I mean he was just all swaddled and curled up on the sofa just last ... well ... maybe it was several months ago but still ... okay ... but Repeat is using the potty now, so if it's not Shortie's fault it's Repeat's!... yeah that's right it's Repeat's fault. I can remember when they were born! I can remember when they were measure in inches long, not inches tall !
Children, I've determined, make time fly. They make us notice the days passing and the months accumulating as we watch them develop and grow and learn. As we watch them move from Babbling to repeating to full on sentences. From cuddling-crawling-cruising to walking. It's their fault I tell you!
This year will be different! It will go slower! Because I've decided that I'll just join them. I'll be more like them. I will wake up each morning excited by the possibilities of the day. I will be glad to see those close to me. I will look forward to learning something new each day. I will bring things home just because they looked interesting (I won't hesitiate thinking about where it will go or if it goes with anything else in the house)
Then possibly like them I won't notice. Or at least if I do I won't care!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
he played with it all day!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
One day I was in a children's store window shopping and the clerk (a much older grandmother type) came over to speak to us ( well really to him) . She asked and I agreed that she could give him a cookie. He blinked a few times (his brain processing, processing) and then he said "tank ouu". The clerk was so shocked(!) (me too actually!) that she ran and got the other clerk, told her to "watch this" and offered my son another cookie ( no she didn't ask first) Again my son blinked a few times (processing, processing) and repeated "tank oouu". I was so proud! They refused to believe it and went for the bag of cookies (!) offering him cookie after cookie until I had to tell them to stop!
Never had I been so proud of another person's accomplishment! Thank you , DS!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Because this person thought there were only two possible answers to the question they were not prepared for another possiblity and so they failed to see that although my answer was not one of the original two it still told you something about me (which was in fact their original premise).
The way we experience the world is determined by what happened before. Approaching the glass (or a person) as if we knew the present the circumstance without the previous story is limiting ( if not judgemental)... at least the way I see it.
So I guess they were right in a way...my answer to the question does tell you a lot about me!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
1- vacation on an exotic beach without feeling like I have to cover some (or all) of my body... you know feeling too fat or some non-productive feeling like that.
2- Go to Disney World with Repeat and Shortie (their parents can come too!)
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
One year when they were young, very young children --and when I had less than enough money (was there ever a year when that wasn't true?) I decided to hold their b-day parties together. I figured it was a good idea rather than invite the same family members and friends to another gathering just two weeks away. So I had their b-day celebrations together. I let them each invite their own friends. I ordered a cake for each one of them. (DD's was a Barbie cake and DS' was ET - you know the Extra Terrestial?) We sang "happy birthday" twice - once for each of them. So you can surely see that I was treating them as individuals right? WRONG! When my DS's b-day rolled around two weeks later, he wanted to know when his party was going to be. There was no explaining that his party had been on the same day as his sister's party - that he and his sister had celebrated together. He didn't get it that the two cakes, the two songs, the two sets of friends, meant two parties. I guess in his mind two parties also meant two days!
Maybe it was because it wasn't near his birthday...geez what's two weeks?! Maybe it was because it was before DD's birthday ...which if you think about it (apparently only if you think about it as an adult) it was also before his...but whatever the reason ...he felt for quite some time that he didn't have a party that year.
What can I say? I tried.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
While I am not old, I am also not young (at least by our society's standards) and what I am noticing is that there really are many, many other ways to do things. Not that I didn't know this before. It is just amazing to witness and experience. Let me tell you this as an example. At the place where I worship there is a young women "2Ks" who I watch interact with people who are not only different from her but often hostile. She is a gem. I'm not sure that I'd ever get to be as good as she. I watch her walk up to people she doesn't know and welcome them and start talking. I so wish!
I know that I may never do it as well or as easily as she but I can try to get there and in the getting there I will be closer to it than I would be if I never tried. not clear? pay attention and learn. don't be like a two year old struggling and fighting saying "I do it" ...clearly your way (nor my way) is not the only way...at least not the way I see it...
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
1- Alberquque, New Mexico for the fiesta hot air balloon festival in October...(but I'm planning a hot air balloon ride for my birthday so maybe that'd be enough we'll see.)
2- West Africa for a month (but I'd go even if it was only two weeks!)
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
- plait her hair
- put day of the week barrette's on the ends of the plaits
- buy her two scoops of Baskin Robbins' Cookies 'n Cream ice cream
- read with her in the bed
- brush her hair from her face - ( the plaits always untwist)
- have a "movie mania" day ( that's when I'd let her and her brother watch movies until their eyes popped out...okay maybe just two or three in a row)
- have her friends over and watch her interact with them
- cook with her
- dream out loud
- have a family room picnic with shrimp and scallops
- eat out
- stay up talking and doing needlework together
- tell her "I love you"; "I miss you when you're away"; "I'm so very proud of you!"
hmmm...looks like some of this I can do even if she is turning the big blank-0...
Monday, November 17, 2008
It was not the easiest lesson for me to teach. Sometimes when she was angry with me I was also angry with her...not necessarily the best environment to create lesson plans! But I figured working it out with me at lleast was the "safer" environment if not the most conducive environment because I love her and have always wanted the best- better than the best- for her!So I made a point to encourage her to speak up and to stand up for herself and for her thoughts and opinions.
and now what do we have? Through a combination of DD's experiences, her own skills, her personality (and a little loving push from her mom) and we have an awesome, strong, articulate woman in any circumstance (and with any emotion!)
Happy (five days before your) Birthday!! ...I am so proud!
On her birthday DD will be the big blank -O this year. she mentioned it with some wonder and bemusement the last time I saw her. I was listening but inside I was in some stunned state wondering "when did I get to be the mom of a blank year old?! ARGGH!!"
Of course I am aware of and have been present for many of her major life events.
I have been there through it all...but still I want to know...when did it all happen? I can see that she is different than when she was born. I can even see that her children are different than when they were born (even though it's only been a few months --no wait!--yikes-- years?-- oh no! )But for the record let me say that truly I don't feel any different. I mean yes... I have to take 3 pills daily that I wasn't taking before...and yes there are more pounds between the size I want to be and the size I am than ever before... and yes the thought of sharing my space with pet or person makes me shudder..and yes (pitiably) - I dream and scheme for ways to get blissful sleep rather than bold adventures...but no, NO I, (me, myself and I) am not different.
well sort of... but not really...okay wait, this started out as a birthday wish/entry for my DD.
let's see ...sigh...I can't remember what I wanted to write...sigh ... I guess that's different.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
I am aware of those who say they are "afraid" for our country now; [ I listened to those who called in on C-Span - sigh] I heard the woman who plans on "launching investigations" into his citizenship and worthiness [seriously she doesn't think that our numerous covert "alphabet" orginations did that already?]; but I know these people were feeling this way before the win. They will most likely feel this way no matter how well he does. The way I see it that is truly unfortunate particularly for them.
For they will miss the beauty of this moment - that not only is this a good day for African Americans and Americans and the world over [you know our reputation was at stake, right?]
It is a good day... period!
Amid a sea of cheers and joyful tears, President-elect Obama takes the stage at an election-night celebration for hundreds of thousands of supporters in Chicago’s Grant Park last night. (CHUCK KENNEDY / McClatchy-Tribune)
Wow! He did it and we helped! Hallelujah! Praise God!
I am so pleased, so proud, so excited ...(I guess I won't sleep at all tonight ;)
The Way I See It ...we finally allowed the best person to win.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
- Although I am not old enough to remember when paved roads abruptly ended at the edge of where white people resided and turning into dirt roads at the entrance to the black part of town [my mother is, that's how I know about these things]
- I am old enough [barely] to remember the southern hotel signs being switched from vacancy to no vacancy when my father entered to rent us a room on our vacation to see relatives in the south.
- I am old enough just barely to remember the signs with the "N" word held amidst screams of "kill Martin Luther Coon".
- I can remember the first time I had to explain to a frightened, angry, hurt twenty something white person what "affirmative action" was not [ I was an undergrad - if I tell you the year - you'll instantly disappear!]
- and I can certainly remember the most recent time -which unfortunately I do not believe it will be the last time - which was Sunday November 2, 2008.
I could go on but I won't. My point: while I can easily delineate how things have not changed, how things have not improved...today I won't. Because today is a day I thought I'd never live to see. Today there is a brother, an African American man, who is making me happy, making me proud. Today there is an African American man, who is married to an African American woman who together are making me happy and proud. Today I have an image of two happy, loved, safe and proud African American girls, instead of an image of the frightened little African American girl in the 1960's walking the gauntlet of angry white adults in Little Rock, Arkansas. TODAY there is an African American family who represents the best of all I know in my own family; who represents the best in families across this country - the best, not the perfect. TODAY this African American man and his family are anticipating their first walk in the front door of the first house to become the first family. The first, first African American family of these barely united, United States.
Here are Two things I want to accomplish in the next 200 days!
1- clear out every unneeded, unnecessary thing from the basement
2- turn the middle bedroom into a tranquil study
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Thirteen Things I want to do before I'm too old to do them ( this sounds better than "before I die" - Also I don't necessarily want to call it a "Bucket List")
1- ride in a hot air balloon
2- go to Africa for a month or more (but I'd settle for two weeks)
3- go to as many different beaches as I can
4- learn Tai chi
5- vacation at an exotic beach without feeling like I should cover some part of my body - you know feeling too fat!
6- go to disney world w/ Repeat and Shortie (their parents can come too!)
7- clear out the basement and the middle bedroom
8- write a book or something damn close!
9- a complete collection of Dr. Seuss books for myself