Wiser on Wednesday - The Paradoxical Commandments

The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

© Copyright Kent M. Keith 1968, renewed 2001

Wiser on Wednesdays - Contentment

Do not spoil what you have

by desiring what you have not;

remember that what you now have

was once among the things you only hoped for.

- Epicurus

Today I am grateful that...

1. The sun is shining.
2. I get to see my DD, DSnL, Repeat and Shortie everyday
3. I know my way to and from work without the GPS
4. A friend said he is proud of my risky, courageous move
5. I spoke with my BFF for over an hour uninterrupted!
6. I'm driving to see a friend from school this weekend!
7. I worked all day in the garden on Saturday
8. I have plants in my office
9. The baby will be here soon!
10. Repeat included me in his family "flower".
11. Shortie tells me about his day.
12. I am happy!!
13. I am loved!

Wiser on Wednesday - strength and courage

Strength and courage aren't always measured in medals and victories.

They are measured in the struggles they overcome.

The strongest people aren't always the people who win,

but the people who don't give up when they lose.

Ashley Hodgeson

Wiser on Wednesday - miscellaneous qoutes

• He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg. - Chinese Proverb
• I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in the stride toward freedom is not the White Citizens Councilor or the Ku Klux Klanner but the white moderate who is more devoted to order than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King Jr. (US clergyman and civil rights leader 1929-1968)
• Show me your friend and I will show you your character (in Akan kyereme woadamfo na menkyere wo wosuban.) - Kwaku Boateng
• "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." —Margaret Mead
• If you fail to plan , you will plan to fail - Kolawole Kayode
• With the people, for the people, by the people, I crack up when I hear it; I say, with the handful, for the handful, by the handful, 'cause that's what really happens. - Fannie Lou Hamer (U.S. civil rights activist, 1917-1977)
• The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves - Willian Hazlitt (English essayist, 1778-1830)
• If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. - Chinese Proverb
• We are each other's harvest; we are each other's business; we are each other's magnitude and bond. - Gwendolyn Brooks

Id' rather be...gardening

With the apparent (you can't tell by today) onset of spring my heart goes to my first hobby love...gardening. Choosing plants and flowers, digging, arranging, mulching, sitting back admiring, talking with others, watching and pointing out new growth...each have separate and priceless allures.
Despite the fact that I have recently moved (actually I'm still unpacking boxes) I watch the garden in front of the house, keep track of the sun and shade and where they stay the longest, and wonder if Repeat and Shortie would enjoy planting seeds with me.
You can't image how pleased I was when my dear SNL asked me about placing some hosta in the front of the house! We discussed whether there was too much sun there for too long and if so what else we'd enjoy there. He said he might go plant "looking" one day soon. Outwardly I tried to let him know I was interested in going without being too mother-in-law-ish. "If you don't mind...I'd love to go." pleeease! inside my brain was screaming "take me with you! I want to play!" I hope we go soon. I'd really like sharing this first love with him.

When I grow up ...

...I certainly don't want to be an old woman. My DD hums this tune* as she moves around the house. It is quite catchy. When I grow I want to be an old woman. Old, old, old, old woman... She of course can sing this mindlessly, she is nowhere near old with two and half children! She can sing the song for its catchiness and not thing of the larger and annoying implications.

Believe me I get the point of the commercial. Growing up involves growing old, and growing old involves surviving preventable disease. I get it! But none of those old women look like me. Not just because they're not African American but because they're ...well...they're old! Even though they look spry. I will bet money I don't have that "spry" is only used in reference to people who are considered old.

Recently I realized that I was just four - four I say - years shy of the age that as a child I thought was ancient/near death. Really, it was recent - like last week. I mean I have been counting (even though not sharing) my years on this earth. But somehow it alluded me that I was approaching the "ancient/near death age". Now what? I'm not hardly ancient. I'm not hardly old. I still turn a head or two (never mind that the heads I turn happen to be a lot older than they used to be! sigh)

At the risk of sounding like an old woman... where exactly did the time go?

* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVR3EiwSgwI

Wiser on Wednesday - Don't Quit

DON'T QUIT - anonymous


When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When they might have won, had they stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!

My Dad gave me a copy of this poem when I was 10 years old. He was encouraging me to do my best and to not give up when things became difficult. Thank you Daddy! I miss you.

DANGER! DANGER! Will Robinson!

The Way I See It I did a dangerous thing on Saturday. I ignored the inner voice telling me that I shouldn’t. I threw caution to the wind and went—wait for it -- I went SHOPPING. I know. I know. Any bad feelings I’m experiencing now should be considered my own fault. But please let me explain.

First I am tired of my look. I feel frumpy (I’m not) I feel that I look like somebody’s mother ( I am but without disparaging mother’s I know you know what I mean!) and I feel like it is impossible to change it.
Second – I am continually puzzled by the number of women who are shorter, taller, rounder, much rounder older younger than I am who are dressed in current fashion and look good! What is the problem with me and my body that I can’t look better or as least as good as I’d like to look?
Third – I recently returned to my regular viewing routine of TLC’s What Not to Wear. Every person they feature ends up looking great! Now you might say that 5000 dollars and the help of Stacy and Clinton could make anyone look better but I really don’t believe it is the money as much as the “rules”—but I digress.

Armed with these three points banging around in my head and the seduction of a wonderfully warm spring day I headed off to the mall. To prevent feeling overwhelmed I gave myself instructions to look for only one outfit—a pair of pants and a top or two to go with them – and maybe one of those cute waist length jackets in denim or twill.

So I’m strong and I ready and what do I find? … that I am still short! (If anything about my body had to change, couldn’t it have been my height instead of my weight?)
I am willing to have my clothes altered but these pants were so long, alterations would totally change the style and shape! And when? When did I get too round for Misses? So/ what? I have to go to Women’s? NO! I’m not that grown (read – OLD) yet!

Refusing to be deterred I sheepishly enter the Women’s department. The first size is 1X. Really? I didn’t think I’d gained that much weight – but off to the fitting room I went with 1X tops and 14W and 16W jeans and pants. I was pleased to see that Women sized jeans recognized my body! Meaning that I have fuller curves than I did and providing more ease and contours in the places I now need them without making me look like I will soon be attacked by Stacy and Clinton. I was feeling better…right up until I tried on the tops. I went from I could work this –to- a candidate model for tentmakers. The tops squared me out; frumped me up; made me shorter, older, wider, -- why not just go home and wear what I had?!!! Fortunately I stopped myself. Put the tops back and purchased the jeans only.

My counter strategy is to pull out my summer clothes, try on the tops, get rid of any that I can’t wear for whatever reason and go back out into the danger zone next weekend. Wish me luck!

HiHo! HiHo! - off to work I go!

Public Transportation - 1

One of the many things that makes moving traumatic is the number of changes that must be made that are not always apparent. You know...the changes you can't really prepare for... the changes that you don't even realize will be necessary...like Public Transportation.

As I prepared to move my friends attempted to encourage me by mentioning the new city's wonderful public transportation system. They talked about how clean and bright it was and the informative and pleasant workers. I can report that: Yes the system is clean and bright. Yes most of the staff are informattive and pleasant. However there is a marked difference in riding public transportation as a tourist and riding as a resident.

What my friends failed to mention --or more likely did not know-- is that there is no eating or drinking anywhere on the system--not on the cars--not on the platform-- and there is a one hundred dollar fine if they catch you.

Seriously? This will not work for me. Let me mention that eating on the way to work is how I've consumed breakfast for the pass "cabillion" years. On the go. On the train. On the bus. NOW what?! I have to eat before I leave the house? I have to ride an hour on an empty stomach? This is not good. This is not acceptable. AND this is not included in the Chamber of Commerce's "come live here" brochure.

So if you have suggestions that don't include getting up an hour earlier I'm all ears. In the meantime, I'm using my ride time to figure ways to either make another change or skirt the system.

Dizzing Days in the District - how it began

Well as you can see I haven't posted in quite some time! Since December 30th as a matter of fact. I have missed getting my thoughts on paper! Truthfully though, over the last eight weeks I have been so jammed with activity and decisions that I still can't believe that it is March, much less almost SPRING!

I MOVED! I was offered a job which I accepted. I was notified on January 15 to begin on February 1st! Yes I know just two weeks!. I seriously tried to have the start date be March 1 but they basically said "no". So I tidied things at work ( which meant working hard and long for three days); then got really busy packing my house. That was indeed a monstrous task.

I left home on January 30th and drove straight into a snow storm. It took me four hours to make a 2hr and 15 min trip! I brought essentials but of course you always end up needing things that you didn't expect to need, so the first two weeks were fairly disconcerting.

The movers came on February 13th and delivered on Sunday so I had the holiday (President's Day) to unpack.

The first week on the job was "interesting". Lots of paper work, ID distribution, fingerprinting, desk assignments, meeting training supervisors. I will be in training for about 4 months. I have learned the metro at least for the two places that I have to get to from home.

The second weekend (Feb 7th to be exact) we were snowed in - seriously...snow, snow and more SNOW!The snow started around 10AM Friday and continued until late Saturday. I don't think I've ever been so happy to see a Friday and be snowed in!

I am still unpacking boxes. However, I can find the bed and my underwear so I think I'm making progress. ;-) Despite the challenges (which I will recount in another post) I am happy to be here. I get to see the boys everyday--even though on Sunday afternoons I still begin to gather my things and put them by the door to "leave"!