Menstruation, Menopause, Mental Illness,

...how is it that all our most painful experiences begin with men...?!

Woman Poem - NIkki Giovanni

Wiser on Wednesday - WOMAN - Nikki Giovanni

WOMAN - Nikki Giovannia
she wanted to be a blade

of grass amid the fields
but he wouldn't agree
to be the dandelion

she wanted to be a robin singing
through the leaves
but he refused to be
her tree

she spun herself into a web
and looking for a place to rest
turned to him
but he stood straight
declining to be her corner

she tried to be a book
but he wouldn't read

she turned herself into a bulb
but he wouldn't let her grow

she decided to become
a woman
and though he still refused
to be a man
she decided it was all
right

Who is Your Jesus?

Who is Your Jesus?*

Who is your Jesus?

What did he do?

Can he look like me?

Or must he look like you?

Who is your Jesus?

What did he do?

that means no woman

can preach him to you?

Who is your Jesus?

What did he do?

that requires I worship

exactly as you?

Who is your Jesus?

What is this Cross?

if we won't proclaim it

to those who are lost?

Who is your Jesus?

Didn't he forgive all?

or does he still hold Eve

responsible for the Fall?

Who is this Jesus?

What does he claim?

that we feel comfortable

killing in his name?

Who is this Jesus?

What did he do?

that makes you so sure

heaven's only for you?

Who is this Jesus?

that I can't proclaim

all of the blessings

that occur in his name?

Who is this Jesus?

that gives you the clout

to make decisions concerning

who's in and who's out?

Doesn't your Jesus

save by grace?

Why should it matter

if he has my face?

December 3, 2002 - written by R-Squared in response to the racism, sexism, elitism and mindless white privilege openly expressed in a seminary class.

Love One Another

The way I see it, as Christians we aren't commanded to love one another because every other Christian is loveable or even likeable. Jesus didn't command us to "like" one another. (John 13: 34-35) We are commanded to love one another, not because others are loveable, but because we love Him!

Phenomenal Woman - Maya Angelou

Phenomenal Woman - Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Wiser on Wednesday - Courage

Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
'I will try again tomorrow'

Mary Anne Radmacher

Wiser on Wednesday - Our Deepest Fear - Marianne Williamson

Our Deepest Fear - Marianne Williamson




insert picture of the counted cross stitch I made for Repeat's birthday here. started Summer 2007 - completed April 2012

 see post October 28, 2009



Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

It's FINISHED!!!

Yes. well almost. I've finished ALL the quilting on Baby Girl's quilt! I'm soooo excited. Today... Tuesday, April 17, 2012, the quilting is COMPLETE!!! The only thing left to do is the label and the binding. Something called a "continuous binding" is supposed to be best. Something that my quilting friend--who lives several states away--can't tell me over the phone. But no worries! At least not today. Today...I am celebrating! Today... the quilting is complete! Today... I am that much closer with being "ta done" with this "to do"! Today... I am HAPPY!

Dueling Diabetes - Diabetes? Really? Is she sure?

So I've been pricking my fingers, reading about: fasting ranges and testing and recipes and food with low glycemic indexes. Please tell my why everything appears fine. I mean my numbers are always in range: I don't get tired when I eat; I feel the same. So why is there nothing wrong? This is making me nervous. The way I see it, this should be more of a "fight". For years, I anticipated struggling, worrying (well...I'm doing that), having high sugars and low sugars and feeling deprived. Clearly, I am doing something wrong. Maybe, I'm not reading the Glucometer correctly; maybe the strips are wrong; maybe I'm not testing enough; maybe too much. ARGH!

So I asked my BFF about it and she tells me that I probably was still quite borderline; that the doctor probably wanted to get a handle on the sugar levels before they got crazy out of hand; that maybe the pills will be all I need. Hmmm...I know this is good news, but, do you think the doctor could have told me some of this before I went nuts!?!

Dueling Diabetes - the fasting range

Okay so this morning* my fasting blood sugar was 101. YAY! YIPPEE! I did it! So what you say? Clearly because you don't know... so let me tell you. With Diabetes your fasting blood sugars (no food or drink -besides water- for eight [8] hours) should fall in the range of 80-120 mg/dl. Confused? yeah me too. Let's do this - when I stick myself in the morning, the number on the little thing-y (Glucometer) should be somewhere between 80 and 120. My personal goal is 100. Don't know anything, just thought the middle would be better than the high or low ends. (But I will check on that when I go to class though) ANYWAY... this morning it was 101! Cool right?and the best, best, best part is that I didn't STARVE! That's right! I even had a little soy milk to prevent the medicine from upsetting my stomach. So YAY! YAY! YAY! It's a good start to a diabetic's day!

*Thursday April 12, 2012

Wiser on Wednesday - the humanity of Jesus

...it is a complete distortion of the humanity of Jesus as depicted in the gospel story to claim that maleness is an ontological necessity of the incarnation of the Word of God or that because Jesus was male women should not be ordained to the office of ministry.* If we follow the description of Jesus in the gospel story, we will surely agree that the theological significance of the humanity of Jesus resides not in his masculine gender but in his unconditional love of God and his shockingly inclusive love of others. This and this alone makes the life and death of Jesus a radiant expression of the eternally self-giving, other-affirming , community-forming love of the triune God. ...- Daniel Migliore, Faith Seeking Understanding, p147-158


*"An understanding of the incarnation in terms of biological gender positivism does not square with the tradition according to which the humanity and not the masculinity of Jesus has saving significance," says Elisabeth Schussler Fiorenza "Luke 13:10-17: Interpretation for Liberation and Transformation," Theology Digest 36 [Winter 1989]; Jacquelyn Grant contends that "The significance if Christ is not his maleness but his humanity" (White Women's Christ and Black Women's Jesus, p220).

What We Need Is Here - Wendell Berry

Geese appear high over us, pass, and the sky closes. 
Abandon, as in love or sleep, holds them to their way, clear in the ancient faith: what we need is here. 
And we pray, not for new earth or heaven, but to be quiet in heart, and in eye,clear.
What we need is here.

Dueling Diabetes - Can you say "STARVE"??

Because that's what I feel all morning and half the night! All I can think about is what I can't have. So I take my fasting blood levels (taking blood levels is when you stick yourself for blood, put the blood on the Glucometer and it tells you what your sugar level; a fasting blood level is between your dinner and your breakfast) I go into the kitchen and dun-dun-dun-duuunnn! what to eat? oh how about a boiled egg? oh right no dairy. How about a bagel with butter? oh right watch those Carbs and no dairy? how about...oh right no...how about...oh right no...this is every morning. every morning. (geez is this diagnosis really only a few days old?) I have actually been dreaming... did you hear me? ..dreaming about eggs, grits and turkey bacon for five...count them...one-two-three-four-five days!...from the time I pricked my finger to the time I said "what the hell" and fixed the eggs, grits and turkey bacon one hour... one entire hour passed. This is crazy and I'm not sure this is the way to live. I wasn't this hungry and food conscious when I was trying to drop a few pounds. (OBTW - I've lost four pounds...how? you ask...because I DON'T eat anything!! I feel everything will kill me! If I eat I DIE!!!!)

"D" - Day part one

"D" as in Diagnosis!!!
So let me just tell you that Wednesday, March 21, 2012, was the worst day. I went early to the doctor's office to discuss the results of the A1C blood test --the test that measures your sugar levels --the test that determines if you have diabetes or not. And even though the chronic disease is prevalent on both sides of my family, I wasn't too worried. For you see, I've been trying to forestall a diabetes diagnosis for years. Long ago I made changes in my diet such as: drinking water instead of juice or soda, using sweetner instead of sugar, but I digress. The doctor's office...the conversation - the short version:
Doctor: Your A1C level is 6.7. We prefer them to be 6.5 or below. So I am writing you a prescription.
Me: tears...full on sobs...shoulder shaking wails
Doctor: Oh my (hands me a tissue) After waiting a while,and when the wails turned to sniffles. Here is your prescriptions for a Glucometer, lancets and tests strips. (I take them as the doctor continues) Now, no juice or soda, sugar, corn, dairy...
Me: but I don't...but I haven't...
Doctor: (continuing, I guess she didn't hear me?) We want to see you every three months; you should get your eyes checked every year; watch your feet - if you get a cut on them come in to see us right away...words, words, words... yes it's a good idea to make the three month appointment before you leave...
Me: (I must've of said something) okay, I will. thank you. yes okay.

I left the doctor's office. I walked out the side door straight to my car, where I sat and cried for twenty minutes...

Good Friday - Christ died for us

...Christ died for us in order to expose our world of violence for what it is --a world that stands under God's judgement, a word based on coercion and leading to death. ...

...Christ died for us in order to enter into utmost solidarity with us as victims of violence and to mediate God's forgiveness to us a perpetrators of violence. ...

...Christ died for us in order to open a new future for a new humanity in the midst of our violent world. ...

...The cross of Christ is greater than the murderous passions of our world. that God's glory can and does shine even in the deepest night of human savagery, that God's free forgiveness is greater than our paralyzing recognition of quilt, that God's way of life is greater than our way of death. ...

Daniel Migliore, Faith Seeking Understanding, Violence and the Cross p160

Wiser on Wednesday - All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten - Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things - Robert Fulghum

Most of what I really Need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at Sunday school. These are the things I learned:
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't' take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life--learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work everyday some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.

The Trouble with Birthdays...

...in the Spring is that you never know what you'll get...weather wise! (what did you think I meant?)

This year my Dear Daughter took me on a DC Harbor Cruise to see the Cherry Blossoms in bloom. Or at least that was the plan.  The blossoms blossomed early. Then it got cold. Then the wind blew. Then they were gone!
It was very cold on the cruise! But I was warmed by the time, attention and the planning that my daughter did on my behalf. (She tells me that's my love language)

On the Cruise - 3-25-2012
Spring?

The very next day, I mean the very next day - it was warm and pleasant and well Spring like! But then that is the trouble and the triumph of birthdays in the Spring.

Outside the Smithsonian - 3-26-2012
Spring!

Happy Birthday to Me!