Time Flies!

It's already 2009! most of us are in the midst of making and already breaking new year's resolutions. I am still reeling from the fact that it is already 2009!!! I can remember clearly and vividly days in 2008. I remember them as if they were yesterday and now you are telling me that these "yesterday moments" were a year ago? six months ago?

The feeling that the days and weeks are whizzing by is so distinct that I set to wondering and asking people if they are feeling the same way. Some offer that "we're getting old" (please! you may be, but I'm not!). Others offer that we are more conscious of our time because there's so much to do now ( "now" as in "we're older" - what's with all this conversation about age anyway?)

I've decided that it's the boys fault. Yes! it's Repeat and Shortie's fault. Repeat is 2 years and 9months and Shortie is 15 months old. Shortie started walking in November so its his fault for sure. I mean he was just all swaddled and curled up on the sofa just last ... well ... maybe it was several months ago but still ... okay ... but Repeat is using the potty now, so if it's not Shortie's fault it's Repeat's!... yeah that's right it's Repeat's fault. I can remember when they were born! I can remember when they were measure in inches long, not inches tall !

Children, I've determined, make time fly. They make us notice the days passing and the months accumulating as we watch them develop and grow and learn. As we watch them move from Babbling to repeating to full on sentences. From cuddling-crawling-cruising to walking. It's their fault I tell you!

This year will be different! It will go slower! Because I've decided that I'll just join them. I'll be more like them. I will wake up each morning excited by the possibilities of the day. I will be glad to see those close to me. I will look forward to learning something new each day. I will bring things home just because they looked interesting (I won't hesitiate thinking about where it will go or if it goes with anything else in the house)

Then possibly like them I won't notice. Or at least if I do I won't care!

Christmas 2008 with ALL my Children!!!

Repeat was so pleased with his train table that
he played with it all day!

DD is clearly pleased with her gift from her hubby!

Shortie getting help from Daddy.

DS and DDnL explaining Wii to me.

DDnL is happy with her gift from her hubby too!

Two-s - Day - to -do

Two small things for my ever increasing To-do List

1- go to as many different beaches as possible.

2- plant flowers in my DD's and DSnL's the garden (side yard or pathway -grin) of their first home

Thank you!

When my son was a toddler I began saying "thank you" every time I gave him something and every time he gave me something. Over and over and over. unlike now there was no Internet, Google wasn't a word much less verb ( I'll just google it!) so I didn't really know when or if he would get it.

One day I was in a children's store window shopping and the clerk (a much older grandmother type) came over to speak to us ( well really to him) . She asked and I agreed that she could give him a cookie. He blinked a few times (his brain processing, processing) and then he said "tank ouu". The clerk was so shocked(!) (me too actually!) that she ran and got the other clerk, told her to "watch this" and offered my son another cookie ( no she didn't ask first) Again my son blinked a few times (processing, processing) and repeated "tank oouu". I was so proud! They refused to believe it and went for the bag of cookies (!) offering him cookie after cookie until I had to tell them to stop!

Never had I been so proud of another person's accomplishment! Thank you , DS!

half full? half empty?

Some years ago someone I knew felt that you could tell a lot about a person by the way they answered the question "Is this glass half full or half empty?" when I was presented with the question I replied " it depends". Instantly frustrated this person tried to force my answer by repeating the question " Is this glass half full or half empty?" Puzzled by their frustration particularly since the point was that my asnwer would reveal a lot about me I just repeated my answer "It depends" . Finally they asked "depends on what?" "On whether you poured half the water in or poured half the water out."

Because this person thought there were only two possible answers to the question they were not prepared for another possiblity and so they failed to see that although my answer was not one of the original two it still told you something about me (which was in fact their original premise).

The way we experience the world is determined by what happened before. Approaching the glass (or a person) as if we knew the present the circumstance without the previous story is limiting ( if not judgemental)... at least the way I see it.

So I guess they were right in a way...my answer to the question does tell you a lot about me!

Two-s - Day - vacation

Two vacation things I'd like to do soon...

1- vacation on an exotic beach without feeling like I have to cover some (or all) of my body... you know feeling too fat or some non-productive feeling like that.

2- Go to Disney World with Repeat and Shortie (their parents can come too!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dear Son!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SON!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!
MOMMY

Birthday Memories

My two children are 23 months and 2 weeks apart...My DS's birthday --which is tomorrow December 7--comes after my DD's even though he's the oldest. As adults we think nothing of this. But children particularly young children just don't quite get it. Of course, I know this now but not when they were the "particularly young children that just don't get it".



One year when they were young, very young children --and when I had less than enough money (was there ever a year when that wasn't true?) I decided to hold their b-day parties together. I figured it was a good idea rather than invite the same family members and friends to another gathering just two weeks away. So I had their b-day celebrations together. I let them each invite their own friends. I ordered a cake for each one of them. (DD's was a Barbie cake and DS' was ET - you know the Extra Terrestial?) We sang "happy birthday" twice - once for each of them. So you can surely see that I was treating them as individuals right? WRONG! When my DS's b-day rolled around two weeks later, he wanted to know when his party was going to be. There was no explaining that his party had been on the same day as his sister's party - that he and his sister had celebrated together. He didn't get it that the two cakes, the two songs, the two sets of friends, meant two parties. I guess in his mind two parties also meant two days!



Maybe it was because it wasn't near his birthday...geez what's two weeks?! Maybe it was because it was before DD's birthday ...which if you think about it (apparently only if you think about it as an adult) it was also before his...but whatever the reason ...he felt for quite some time that he didn't have a party that year.

What can I say? I tried.

the Way I See It...Continuing Education

The way I see it learning or continued education is not an option. It cannot be something that we decide to do only if we have a degree to maintain or a license to keep. Continuing our education is not really a choice if we are to be connected, loving human beings. Maybe it is already clear that I think this as you witness my struggle with blogging and h-t-m-l codes and Thursday Thirteen formats. but what I want -no need -to make clear is that we each continue to have something to learn from each other.


While I am not old, I am also not young (at least by our society's standards) and what I am noticing is that there really are many, many other ways to do things. Not that I didn't know this before. It is just amazing to witness and experience. Let me tell you this as an example. At the place where I worship there is a young women "2Ks" who I watch interact with people who are not only different from her but often hostile. She is a gem. I'm not sure that I'd ever get to be as good as she. I watch her walk up to people she doesn't know and welcome them and start talking. I so wish!



I know that I may never do it as well or as easily as she but I can try to get there and in the getting there I will be closer to it than I would be if I never tried. not clear? pay attention and learn. don't be like a two year old struggling and fighting saying "I do it" ...clearly your way (nor my way) is not the only way...at least not the way I see it...

Two-s - Day - travel

Two places I'd like to go soon...

1- Alberquque, New Mexico for the fiesta hot air balloon festival in October...(but I'm planning a hot air balloon ride for my birthday so maybe that'd be enough we'll see.)

2- West Africa for a month (but I'd go even if it was only two weeks!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dear Daughter!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR DAUGHTER!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!

I Love You, Mommy

Thursday Thirteen -

Thirteen things I'd do for DD's birthday if she wasn't turning the BIG blank-0 ...

1. plait her hair


2. put day of the week barrette's on the ends of the plaits


3. buy her two scoops of Baskin Robbins' Cookies 'n Cream ice cream


4. read with her in the bed


5. brush her hair from her face - ( the plaits always untwist)


6. have a "movie mania" day ( that's when I'd let her and her brother watch movies until their eyes popped out...okay maybe just two or three in a row)


7. have her friends over and watch her interact with them


8. cook with her


9. dream out loud


10. have a family room picnic with shrimp and scallops


11. eat out


12. stay up talking and doing needlework together


13. tell her "I love you"; "I miss you when you're away"; "I'm so very proud of you!"

hmmm...looks like some of this I can do even if she is turning the big blank-0...

so do you think she'd wear the barrettes? (LOL)

Happy Birthday DD!!!!!! - Love Mommy

Birthday minus 2

DD's birthday minus 5 - take 2

I enjoy watching my DD negotiate her life. She is beautiful, capable and strong and I really appreciate how well she speaks up. "Speaking up" is really important to me for all kinds of reasons and I mention it here and now because she didn't always. She used to shut down. She used to hold it in. ...especially if she had a different opinion than mine or if she was angry with me. I didn't want her to be like that. Not with me ...not with anyone. I wanted her to express her opinion especially in opposition with others and I wanted her to also learn to express herself well when she was angry.
It was not the easiest lesson for me to teach. Sometimes when she was angry with me I was also angry with her...not necessarily the best environment to create lesson plans! But I figured working it out with me at lleast was the "safer" environment if not the most conducive environment because I love her and have always wanted the best- better than the best- for her!So I made a point to encourage her to speak up and to stand up for herself and for her thoughts and opinions.

and now what do we have? Through a combination of DD's experiences, her own skills, her personality (and a little loving push from her mom) and we have an awesome, strong, articulate woman in any circumstance (and with any emotion!)

Happy (five days before your) Birthday!! ...I am so proud!

DD's Birthday minus 5

It is about five days before my DD's birtday. I hope to complete five entries as birthday reflections for us both.

On her birthday DD will be the big blank -O this year. she mentioned it with some wonder and bemusement the last time I saw her. I was listening but inside I was in some stunned state wondering "when did I get to be the mom of a blank year old?! ARGGH!!"


Of course I am aware of and have been present for many of her major life events.

I have been there through it all...but still I want to know...when did it all happen? I can see that she is different than when she was born. I can even see that her children are different than when they were born (even though it's only been a few months --no wait!--yikes-- years?-- oh no! )

But for the record let me say that truly I don't feel any different. I mean yes... I have to take 3 pills daily that I wasn't taking before...and yes there are more pounds between the size I want to be and the size I am than ever before... and yes the thought of sharing my space with pet or person makes me shudder..and yes (pitiably) - I dream and scheme for ways to get blissful sleep rather than bold adventures...but no, NO I, (me, myself and I) am not different.

well sort of... but not really...okay wait, this started out as a birthday wish/entry for my DD.
let's see ...sigh...I can't remember what I wanted to write...sigh ... I guess that's different.

The World Celebrates!

A sand sculpture on a beach in Puri, India, offers congratulations to Barack Obama. The global celebrations often were tempered by an awareness of the serious challenges Obama will face. (Biswaranjan Rout / Associated Press)

President-elect Barack Obama, left, and Vice President-elect Joe Biden celebrate after Obama's acceptance speech at the election night rally in Chicago, Tuesday, Nov. 4, 2008. (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)

Doesn't he look PERFECTLY presidential?!!!!!!

YES we DID!!!!!

President-elect Barack Obama gives his acceptance speech at Grant Park in Chicago Tuesday night, Nov. 4, 2008.(AP Photo/Morry Gash)

President-elect Barack Obama, left, his wife Michelle Obama, right, and two daughters, Malia, 7. and Sasha, 10, wave at the election night rally in Chicago, Tuesday, Nov. 4, 2008. (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)

President-elect Barack Obama speaks to supporters during his election night party at Grant Park in Chicago, Tuesday night, Nov. 4, 2008. (AP Photo/M. Spencer Green)

Supporters cheer as they hear results from television that President-elect Barack Obama has been elected President of the United States at Grant Park in Chicago, Tuesday night, Nov. 4, 2008. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

She looks like I felt!

The Way I See it - waiting to exhale

My daughter mentioned lst night that she realized that she was holding her breath as she watched the returns. When she said that I realized that I was holding mine as well!

I guess I was being "cautiously optimistic" as one reporter said. Particularly since I know how things can change quite unexpectedly and quite unfairly for persons of color. So I didn't get too excited when now President Elect Barack Obama [ I soooo love saying that!] was ahead by 70 electoral votes. I didn't jump or pump or 'holla when he had 207 to McCain's 141. I didn't clap even though I know he is right for us...all of us. He is bright. He is articulate. He is informed. He cares. But right does not always get a fair hearing. So yes I was holding my breath. Yes I was waiting to exhale.

But today seeing photos like this...even with the full impact and implications yet to hit me... yes, I will exhale and jump and pump and 'holla!

The Way I See it - the morning after!

The morning after often has negative connotations. It implies regret. It suggests a clearer perspective over actions, thoughts, promises made in the dark that would have been different in the light of day. but not this morning! Not the morning after Barack Hussein Obama - became the president elect; the 44th president of the united states. On this morning after there is no regret; no belief that another decision would have been better; no thought that the light of day would have changed the outcome.

I am aware of those who say they are "afraid" for our country now; [ I listened to those who called in on C-Span - sigh] I heard the woman who plans on "launching investigations" into his citizenship and worthiness [seriously she doesn't think that our numerous covert "alphabet" orginations did that already?]; but I know these people were feeling this way before the win. They will most likely feel this way no matter how well he does. The way I see it that is truly unfortunate particularly for them.

For they will miss the beauty of this moment - that not only is this a good day for African Americans and Americans and the world over [you know our reputation was at stake, right?]

It is a good day... period!

Amid a sea of cheers and joyful tears, President-elect Obama takes the stage at an election-night celebration for hundreds of thousands of supporters in Chicago’s Grant Park last night. (CHUCK KENNEDY / McClatchy-Tribune)

The Way I See It - President Elect Barack Obama!

Every time they said "President Elect Barack Obama" I literally got chills! I cannot believe it! Not because he isn't capable because he most certainly is! Not because I didn't want to believe it because I most certainly do. But I have lived long enough to see things go sour (for one - Florida - 2000 presidential "election" of George Bush) .

Wow! He did it and we helped! Hallelujah! Praise God!

President Elect Barack Obama! Wow! (President Obama - I will not be able to stand it!)

I am so pleased, so proud, so excited ...(I guess I won't sleep at all tonight ;)

The Way I See It ...we finally allowed the best person to win.

the Way I See It - Election Day 11-4-2008 - 3:33pm

The Way I See It - I will probably post several election day thoughts so I'm time stamping them. I can't even begin to express the pride and incredulity I am feeling right now.

• Although I am not old enough to remember when paved roads abruptly ended at the edge of where white people resided and turning into dirt roads at the entrance to the black part of town [my mother is, that's how I know about these things]
• I am old enough [barely] to remember the southern hotel signs being switched from vacancy to no vacancy when my father entered to rent us a room on our vacation to see relatives in the south.
• I am old enough just barely to remember the signs with the "N" word held amidst screams of "kill Martin Luther Coon".
• I can remember the first time I had to explain to a frightened, angry, hurt twenty something white person what "affirmative action" was not [ I was an undergrad - if I tell you the year - you'll instantly disappear!]
• and I can certainly remember the most recent time -which unfortunately I do not believe it will be the last time - which was Sunday November 2, 2008.

I could go on but I won't. My point: while I can easily delineate how things have not changed, how things have not improved...today I won't. Because today is a day I thought I'd never live to see. Today there is a brother, an African American man, who is making me happy, making me proud. Today there is an African American man, who is married to an African American woman who together are making me happy and proud. Today I have an image of two happy, loved, safe and proud African American girls, instead of an image of the frightened little African American girl in the 1960's walking the gauntlet of angry white adults in Little Rock, Arkansas. TODAY there is an African American family who represents the best of all I know in my own family; who represents the best in families across this country - the best, not the perfect. TODAY this African American man and his family are anticipating their first walk in the front door of the first house to become the first family. The first, first African American family of these barely united, United States.

TODAY. This country has a chance to demonstrate that she is better than her past, better even than her most recent past. Today I hope, I pray she doesn't blow it.

Two-s - Day

I just found out that there is a "protocol" for Thursday Thirteen. So until I work through it I'm creating a Two-s - day list...Two things instead of thirteen.

Here are Two things I want to accomplish in the next 200 days!

1- clear out every unneeded, unnecessary thing from the basement

2- turn the middle bedroom into a tranquil study

Two-s - Day

I couldn't think of thirteen things this morning! But I was determined to post so here are two!

Two things I want to do next year (2009)

1. ride in a hot air balloon
2. learn Tai Chi

Thursday Thirteen

So this is the first thursday thirteen blog - but I only have nine in time!

Thirteen Things I want to do before I'm too old to do them ( this sounds better than "before I die" - Also I don't necessarily want to call it a "Bucket List")

1- ride in a hot air balloon
2- go to Africa for a month or more (but I'd settle for two weeks)
3- go to as many different beaches as I can
4- learn Tai chi
5- vacation at an exotic beach without feeling like I should cover some part of my body - you know feeling too fat!
6- go to disney world w/ Repeat and Shortie (their parents can come too!)
7- clear out the basement and the middle bedroom
8- write a book or something damn close!
9- a complete collection of Dr. Seuss books for myself
10-

Getting started...

So my daughter blogs. I am quite happy to receive her new blog entries and even happier to see how well she writes and expresses herself. so I wanted to try it. Do I have to tell you that this is almost two years later!? Today I'm sitting in her dining room having her tell me step by step. Not that it is really hard but I tried it twice before and still nothing. I want to write. I think of writing everyday and yet here I am stuck on what to call it, what to say, what the url address should be (U-R-L?) my BFF-R mentioned yesterday that I think too much. Clearly!

Two-s - Day - learning

Two things I want to learn:

1- spanish

2- tai chai